deepundergroundpoetry.com
His Message After My Call
Dear Lauryn,
I'm grateful for the time we had together. I will carry memories of you for the rest of my life.
I was shocked by your call. I had assumed you were practicing birth control. I know it's late for honesty, but to be honest now, I believe we must end our relationship. How I wish I could spend my life with a woman like you, but our lives and responsibilities are complex and the damage to my wife and daughter would be too great.
Regarding your pregnancy, I want to support you through this difficult time. I understand that the decision is ultimately yours, but I would like to offer my assistance if you choose to have an abortion. I will pay for this and other costs with the understanding that you are to make no attempts to contact me or my family. If you choose to have the child, please understand that I will not be available to act as a father or provide ongoing financial assistance.
I'm grateful for the time we had together. I will carry memories of you for the rest of my life.
I was shocked by your call. I had assumed you were practicing birth control. I know it's late for honesty, but to be honest now, I believe we must end our relationship. How I wish I could spend my life with a woman like you, but our lives and responsibilities are complex and the damage to my wife and daughter would be too great.
Regarding your pregnancy, I want to support you through this difficult time. I understand that the decision is ultimately yours, but I would like to offer my assistance if you choose to have an abortion. I will pay for this and other costs with the understanding that you are to make no attempts to contact me or my family. If you choose to have the child, please understand that I will not be available to act as a father or provide ongoing financial assistance.
Published 29th Aug 2023
Author's Note
The married man of my August 5th affair sent me this email after I called to tell him I was pregnant. He questioned me but I knew the only recent unprotected sex I'd had was with him. The man I've been living with was more careful saying he didn't want to burden me with a child until we were both ready to raise it. I don't know my next step.
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29th Aug 2023 3:08pm
29th Aug 2023 5:10pm
Is there a pregnancy hotline you can call, perhaps one run by a charity or family planning services?
You'll find an answer that suits you but the important thing is not to fall into a dark place. Try to think clearly.
You'll find an answer that suits you but the important thing is not to fall into a dark place. Try to think clearly.
29th Aug 2023 8:29pm
I would suggest taking with you doctor and therapist as soon as possible. There are also two Planned Parenthood clinics in your area that you can call to make an appointment. Whatever you next steps are, as T mentioned, thinking clearly and making informed choices is important.
Anonymous
- Edited 29th Dec 2023 8:45pm
29th Aug 2023 9:43pm
<< post removed >>
29th Aug 2023 11:21pm
Well Lauryn, regarding legalities, I believe the married man is required by law to provide financial assistance to the child, whether he likes it or not. He must pay! I do not understand why you didn't practice birth control unless you enjoy the danger aspect of these liaisons. 😊
There is some very useful info on the Texas Attorney General’s website. Specifically, who is responsible for child support. If you have a child, the father does have obligations under Texas law. See quote below and link to the full.pdf
“What if the pregnancy was unplanned? Texas law says that both parents are responsible for supporting their children. Just as the mother is respon- sible for the child even if the pregnancy was not planned, so is the father.”
Please see: https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/sites/default/files/files/child-support/forms/cs-faq%20correct.pdf
Thank you to Billy for the idea of googling this.
“What if the pregnancy was unplanned? Texas law says that both parents are responsible for supporting their children. Just as the mother is respon- sible for the child even if the pregnancy was not planned, so is the father.”
Please see: https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/sites/default/files/files/child-support/forms/cs-faq%20correct.pdf
Thank you to Billy for the idea of googling this.
30th Aug 2023 2:31am
It's your choice. You lived for moment and got a blessing in disguise. But if you feel petty you can ruin his marriage by telling the wife. Keep on writing.
30th Aug 2023 6:21am
Dear P,
I need to take issue with your statement “But if you feel petty, you can ruin his marriage by telling his wife”. This places blame on Lauryn but absolves her lover because somehow disclosing his infidelity is wrong and “petty” but infidelity is totally fine as long as his wife doesn’t find out. Perhaps a bit of a double standard?
Furthermore, because he is married there should be no consequences for his decisions? Your statement puts Lauryn in the position of being the guilty party. If she informs the wife, or the wife is informed as a result of legal proceedings, she is the guilty party - she ruined the marriage, not the actions of the husband. The situation as I understand it is that two people engaged in a consensual, sexual relationship. Both parties were aware that one was married. Lauryn is now pregnant as a result of the relationship. Placing blame on Lauryn for “ruining “ his marriage completely ignores the fact that he also made a choice to have sex - he was very likely aware that he was married and that his actions may have violated some of the vows he made when entering into a marriage contract.
How is his marriage now more important than his child? Is it petty to need support to raise a child you fathered? Is it petty that his wife is informed about her husband’s relationship(s)?
The husband made a choice about relationships outside of marriage, this was his decision as well.
I need to take issue with your statement “But if you feel petty, you can ruin his marriage by telling his wife”. This places blame on Lauryn but absolves her lover because somehow disclosing his infidelity is wrong and “petty” but infidelity is totally fine as long as his wife doesn’t find out. Perhaps a bit of a double standard?
Furthermore, because he is married there should be no consequences for his decisions? Your statement puts Lauryn in the position of being the guilty party. If she informs the wife, or the wife is informed as a result of legal proceedings, she is the guilty party - she ruined the marriage, not the actions of the husband. The situation as I understand it is that two people engaged in a consensual, sexual relationship. Both parties were aware that one was married. Lauryn is now pregnant as a result of the relationship. Placing blame on Lauryn for “ruining “ his marriage completely ignores the fact that he also made a choice to have sex - he was very likely aware that he was married and that his actions may have violated some of the vows he made when entering into a marriage contract.
How is his marriage now more important than his child? Is it petty to need support to raise a child you fathered? Is it petty that his wife is informed about her husband’s relationship(s)?
The husband made a choice about relationships outside of marriage, this was his decision as well.
31st Aug 2023 6:08pm
Many of us just want what's best for Lauryn, don't we, Trillium? Enjoyed reading your comments of concern & advice. Lauryn needn't feel totally alone with caring poets like yourself residing here. 😊
30th Aug 2023 6:15am
Well, you have not wanted for advice from among others in DUP, that which is most applicable to you in Texas is worth more than what I could suggest from England but I would most agree with Too Hot 69..
