heaven

   
amidst the crave there is a need to answer my deep questions  
I seek answers internally and externally  
finding little that takes away the empty feeling  
   
where do we go when we die?  
   
my mind reaches the infinite  
I find a character that doesn't exactly line up with the Christian God theory  
he says the oddest things and his responses lend me little hope  
he says I will go onto live another life  
   
I asked about heaven  
he asked me if I was ready to retire oddly enough  
he said no, that my soul still had journeys to go on  
I'm unsure who I will meet when I pass from this life  
   
he's the same voice that has been me since I was young  
I asked if he was an advisor to souls  
he said that I was of his own DNA sequence  
that he breathed life into me  
I'm unsure what that means  
I continually ask for my heavenly father  
he says he's it  
   
he asks more questions than he answers  
I have a sense of dread in me  
I can't quite explain but feel I've failed in this life  
he says the goal of this life was to teach me humility  
and that I've learned this  
it hurts to be humbled  
   
I want to be sure of my fate  
I want security none of us really have  
well, not me anyway  
I meet people whose faith tells them they will be okay  
I don't have that    
does that mean it will end badly for me?  
lack of faith and all that  
   
I want control over something I am helpless over  
it hurts to feel this vulnerable  
I seek the honesty of a state of being  
to alter my consciousness  
so that higher frequencies can elevate my thinking  
   
so I stop asking mortal questions  
to immortal planes