Forgiveness

I will never quite forgive you
For changing the way you did.
How your loveable asshole antics
Turned to the streets for love
Found in the hands of men
Who only sought to take advantage
Of your childhood wounds.

I will never quite forgive those men
Though I see them every other day,
And I pray for them because I know
That they were once wounded children, too.
I pray that they find healing
And that God uses them for good
Though their demons flow through their veins
And wrap themselves around
Every bone and muscle in their body.

I will never quite forgive
The way you said you'd leave that life behind,
And I feel as though that life itself
Has claws and tendrils
Wrapped around you in the form of manipulation
From superiors that don't give a flying fuck about you
Or what you meant to me.
Even though you hurt me deeply.

Forgive?
God's been working on me,
But I fear something about you
Will haunt me to my grave...