To My Inner Child

I’m confined.
I’m quiet.
I’m struggling.
I’m crying.
I’m dying.
But not afraid.
I saw my child like self sitting in a tight yet suffocating, yet unbelievable, yet cold, yet dark room.
She sits in the corner trying to reach her grownup self but the adult me doesn’t seem to let her have the time to express that she too need to share a body of one with her in order to feel whole, alive, carefree, playful, laughing everything that a person should be able to have time for in the world of being grown up.Child me watches from afar the repetition of grownup days and she starts to cry. That when grownup me stops.
I hear her.
But I’m upset because all this time she wanted my full undivided attention but I never took the time, never wanted to give her place within and just couldn’t face who was once me in the corner vs who I am now. If I saw her in that corner again, I knew that where I would want to go back to, I knew that where I would want my final destination to be, I knew that corner where I had left my light, where I had left my happiness, where I had left my inner child and where I had left a part of me that is to also make me whole again, I knew that if I decided to give her the space to also come along on this journey, it would be two lights burned out but then that….would end up turning into a void of nothing…
So to my inner child, I’m sorry I never gave you the time of day to shine your beautiful light on the me who is now…I’m sorry I never gave you the proper love, nourishment, laughter, happiness just full around unbounded love that you too have also deserve but I hope that you understand it nothing to hurt you.
It’s to protect what is left of you from this life of unhappiness. You won’t understand now but when it time for me to hang up the coat of this vessel then you will be ready to take control and maybe you will be the key to make our vessel that we share…whole.
I love you my inner child.