deepundergroundpoetry.com
Amare Et Sapere Vix Deo Conceditur (Even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time)
It creeps and trickles down the walls of my mind
Through the crevasses of yesterday
Where it lingers like the sickly sweet stench
Of rose gardens rotting after torrential rain
It’s here I find you
It’s here you find me
Sapphires for eyes behind nautical masks
That send us reeling into the past.
You’re reaching out while I’m letting go
No longer the fire to my ice
I don’t melt under your melancholy gaze
That used to have me crumpling
Like a puppet without strings
Though I never needed the bindings
When I would crawl to you through
Blackberry thickets and fields of poison ivy
Just to hear your voice
Like molasses in my brain
Sweet and consuming, overwhelming my senses.
Ghosts for memories that brush my skin
Leave it chilled and shivering
My heart constricting in fear
And I can feel you near, always here
Like an unwanted guardian angel
That never had my best interests at heart.
When the beauty of your face
And the heady perfume of your voice
Never could hide the devilish mischief
Barely concealed in the depths of your eyes.
There is a scar on my heart
Ugly and brash, born of impulse and thistles
Where I’ve tried to erase the ink
That bled there in my sleep
Tattooing your name upon my soul
That no bleach nor blade can bleed away
While no amount of forgetting will ever procure
A fondness for the way things used to be
When innocence reigned, naivety
Held no shame, and hope was beautiful.
And still the realm of yesterdays
Drips into my brain like medieval water torture
As memories and dreams light up the sky
Creating faux constellations
That I could have fallen in love with
In another time and place
Before adulthood beckoned
And I began to grow into myself
Much to the horror of us
While leagues of mentally laced barb-wired fencing
Cannot keep me from floundering in the scent
Of lost yesterdays, before our garden of roses
Slipped into the mire of rot.
And now
No amount of love can save us from ourselves.
©Indie Adams 2012
Through the crevasses of yesterday
Where it lingers like the sickly sweet stench
Of rose gardens rotting after torrential rain
It’s here I find you
It’s here you find me
Sapphires for eyes behind nautical masks
That send us reeling into the past.
You’re reaching out while I’m letting go
No longer the fire to my ice
I don’t melt under your melancholy gaze
That used to have me crumpling
Like a puppet without strings
Though I never needed the bindings
When I would crawl to you through
Blackberry thickets and fields of poison ivy
Just to hear your voice
Like molasses in my brain
Sweet and consuming, overwhelming my senses.
Ghosts for memories that brush my skin
Leave it chilled and shivering
My heart constricting in fear
And I can feel you near, always here
Like an unwanted guardian angel
That never had my best interests at heart.
When the beauty of your face
And the heady perfume of your voice
Never could hide the devilish mischief
Barely concealed in the depths of your eyes.
There is a scar on my heart
Ugly and brash, born of impulse and thistles
Where I’ve tried to erase the ink
That bled there in my sleep
Tattooing your name upon my soul
That no bleach nor blade can bleed away
While no amount of forgetting will ever procure
A fondness for the way things used to be
When innocence reigned, naivety
Held no shame, and hope was beautiful.
And still the realm of yesterdays
Drips into my brain like medieval water torture
As memories and dreams light up the sky
Creating faux constellations
That I could have fallen in love with
In another time and place
Before adulthood beckoned
And I began to grow into myself
Much to the horror of us
While leagues of mentally laced barb-wired fencing
Cannot keep me from floundering in the scent
Of lost yesterdays, before our garden of roses
Slipped into the mire of rot.
And now
No amount of love can save us from ourselves.
©Indie Adams 2012
Published 15th Apr 2012
| Edited 24th Apr 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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15th Apr 2012 3:41am
Sapphires for eyes behind nautical masks .. Damn this is brutal and beautiful..
21st Apr 2012 5:40am
There's some really nice moments in the poem, however, I think the work would be benefited by looking at a few lines and either omitting parts, or simply rewording them. Some just feel too verbose; a certain pulse is held, and then that pulse is diminished by an extraneous introduction to the phrase.
The one that jumped out at me the most was
"That never had my best interests at heart"
Although, before and after that line there were several others who-- like this one line-- seemed to me as if it was just too much.
The problem is that, I want to have this raw emotion flow in, but these chunky bits of extraneous words are slowing things down to the point where I can't feel the points your trying to make, and instead I have to think about them.
Either way-- regardless of whether or not you'll be editting this-- I encourage you in the future to think more about how your organizing the flow of each line. But the imagery, all these wonderful metaphors-- golden stuff!
Keep up the good work, in any case.
The one that jumped out at me the most was
"That never had my best interests at heart"
Although, before and after that line there were several others who-- like this one line-- seemed to me as if it was just too much.
The problem is that, I want to have this raw emotion flow in, but these chunky bits of extraneous words are slowing things down to the point where I can't feel the points your trying to make, and instead I have to think about them.
Either way-- regardless of whether or not you'll be editting this-- I encourage you in the future to think more about how your organizing the flow of each line. But the imagery, all these wonderful metaphors-- golden stuff!
Keep up the good work, in any case.
21st Apr 2012 11:31am
Thank you for your feedback on this Quandry. There are quite a few lines I am discontent with in this, though at the moment I have no plans to make any further edits. This is the kind of poem I need to get some distance on before I can come back and look at it with a fresh perspective, though I will keep your advice in mind. :)
24th Apr 2012 12:35pm
Fascinating title and the poem does not dissapoint. I found its quality breath takingly perfect. A true brillant write. Very rare these days
24th Apr 2012 12:58pm
5th May 2012 5:49am
5th May 2012 6:30am
