deepundergroundpoetry.com
It's a long time
trying to
remember
how good
it all was
before I
turned into
a comma
in your
storm.
Published 15th Apr 2023
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 9
reads 278
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Apr 2023 10:45am
15th Apr 2023 2:39am
<< post removed >>
15th Apr 2023 3:10am
OH SHIT!
It it apathy and grief, or boiling rage? I can't tell.
What I CAN tell is the narrator is freaking devastating. A comma in a storm? That's kickass imagery.
A storm is such a large and encompassing thing, and a comma is just a short pause in it all. Just a breath. That is gritty, and I loved it.
It it apathy and grief, or boiling rage? I can't tell.
What I CAN tell is the narrator is freaking devastating. A comma in a storm? That's kickass imagery.
A storm is such a large and encompassing thing, and a comma is just a short pause in it all. Just a breath. That is gritty, and I loved it.
17th Apr 2023 1:52am
Hello Betty
Pleased to make your acquaintance, it can be any emotion you would like it to be, afterall, I have let it go and it's up to the reader to decide which emotion is being expressed, i'm happy that you enjoyed the imagery and the comma in a storm, I suppose we all experience that in some way or some form, thank you for reading my work.
-A
Pleased to make your acquaintance, it can be any emotion you would like it to be, afterall, I have let it go and it's up to the reader to decide which emotion is being expressed, i'm happy that you enjoyed the imagery and the comma in a storm, I suppose we all experience that in some way or some form, thank you for reading my work.
-A
15th Apr 2023 3:51am
Dear N,
I really admired how you achieved the quick turn around from love to sadness on a dime because when that happens in a relationship it really feels cyclonic.
Great piece. H🌷
I really admired how you achieved the quick turn around from love to sadness on a dime because when that happens in a relationship it really feels cyclonic.
Great piece. H🌷
17th Apr 2023 1:56am
Hello Honoria
I'm glad you felt the poem turn on a dime, it can be like that sometimes and I definitely agree that it feels incredibly cyclonic, relationships are very strange and catch us off guard at any moment, thank you for reading my work.
-A
I'm glad you felt the poem turn on a dime, it can be like that sometimes and I definitely agree that it feels incredibly cyclonic, relationships are very strange and catch us off guard at any moment, thank you for reading my work.
-A
17th Apr 2023 2:31am
Anonymous
18th Apr 2023 12:45pm
Hey there
Very sad and emotional piece
Overall Hearttouching!! Very nice.
Very sad and emotional piece
Overall Hearttouching!! Very nice.
18th Apr 2023 2:10pm
............or a monkey wrench in the business. Good luck in the comp. Regards, Robert.
18th Apr 2023 3:50pm
