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Fear of Calm

I feel like
I am simply not
Allowed to be calm
Wow I feel
A poem coming on
One instance is all it takes
Before rising to panic
Once again
Then leads to anxiety
Overthought of thoughts
I have no clue
What to do
With myself
Panicking much alone
Panicking more than I show
Stricken with confusion
Always asking
How do I make it out of this illusion
Already knowing the answers
Not wanting to believe
That this is MY reality
Always having the afterthought
That I always knew
In some way
That what is manifesting here
Would always come to pass
Still in denial of
What is happening
Especially out of fear
Not wanting to stay
In this headspace
It's all now just happening
So
Damn
Fast

Written by KrystalG

Published 1st Apr 2023

Author's Note

I was sitting here thinking about how I been getting a little better at staying in a state of calmness or as some may say contentness. Along that thought came the one about how usually and presently even, the "second" I feel a moment of peace and calmess, my mind finds a way to start panicking and freaking out again. Triggering my own anxiety. And usually I am unable to catch myself on it. That's when this poem was born haha. Why not write down the thoughts I am having in the present moment? Hope you enjoy the read! Much love!💜