The Hole

The realtor turns a plastic smile in your direction,
spreads her arms in a gesture of grandeur
‘Welcome to the Prophet’s cottage
as you can see the porch is a new addition; the previous owners were experienced carpenters
and the exterior was recently painted a lovely shade I fondly refer to as California Sky’
she reaches a perfectly manicured hand to open the door
her smile widens
her voice is saccharine
as she walks you through the most adorable house you’ve ever seen
granite counters and open flame range
inset lighting and hand carved detailing
it is small and humble and inviting
every room is a showroom
until the master bedroom
‘The previous owners spent a lot of time and money turning this room into the perfect nook’
she begins to lead you into the bathroom
but you can’t stop staring
you can’t tear your eyes away from it
there’s a hole in the floor
you move to ask the realtor
because surely she can’t be serious
surely she must notice it
but she’s already danced her way into the bathroom
with its claw foot tub and too many windows
‘Naturally you can get some curtains but you have plenty of privacy here so I suppose you wouldn’t have to get any. To each their own I say.’
you gesture to the bedroom
“There’s a hole. In the floor.”
A hole doesn’t really do the chasm justice.
You have to hug the wall to get around it, someone roped it off
as if any sane person would step into it
there’s no room for a bed
but the walls are lined in books
the realtor quirks a well sculpted eyebrow
‘There’s plenty of closet space; a walk-in on the other side of the bedroom and a towel cabinet in here…’
On she drones. Like there isn’t a fucking hole to middle earth in the middle of the bedroom.
It definitely appears to go on forever; no light makes it in the opening
the edges are jagged and a smell like old dirt and death wafts from it
despite the million open windows
you try again to express your concern
but the realtor drones on about hardwood flooring
and again
and now she’s talking about updated plumbing
and again
and she starts on the appliances
“THERES A FUCKING HOLE TO CHINA IN THE BEDROOM!”
your voice echoes through the house
the realtor stares impassively
‘I’m not sure what you mean but I’m sure if you’re uncomfortable with the flooring, a rug will do just fine if you’re not feeling up for a full remodel.’
And beckons you to the garden
with a wave of one model slim wrist