deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Preamble
Across a crowded room
I felt upon a certain doom
As your eyes met mine
I felt the touch of a divine
As I gaze at your French braid
The hours begin to fade
As one moon rises in the night
Another moon appears above your thighs
As your curves glint in the fading light
Your smile bites with such delight
Dripping wet with such sensation
All I can feel at last, is penetration...
I felt upon a certain doom
As your eyes met mine
I felt the touch of a divine
As I gaze at your French braid
The hours begin to fade
As one moon rises in the night
Another moon appears above your thighs
As your curves glint in the fading light
Your smile bites with such delight
Dripping wet with such sensation
All I can feel at last, is penetration...
Published 23rd Feb 2023
Author's Note
This is my first attempt ever at writing a poem. I'm not sure on proper formatting, stanzas, or anything of that nature. But I believe it mildly rhymes and sets the stage for a much grander tale, and that's what I was ultimately trying to do with my first attempt.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Feb 2023 7:28am
I would certainly say fell upon a certain doom in line 2, as you have used the word felt quite a lot. I always go for a bit of variation when I can.
Anonymous
25th Feb 2023 7:19am
As one moon rises in the night
Another moon appears above your thighs..
Fantastic horny lines... Oommmph
Another moon appears above your thighs..
Fantastic horny lines... Oommmph
27th Feb 2023 5:10pm
Hey, fuck formatting, fuck rules, fuck rhyming.
Write from the cunt and you'll do just fine. (I'm rewatching GOT and I'm Cleganing the world with the word Cunt. It's nothing personal.)
You did a good job for the first time out of the box.
Shut your eyes.... feel it.... smell it... tell your person about it. Write to an audience of one, and make sure they stick the seat. Fuck everything and everyone else.
Write from the cunt and you'll do just fine. (I'm rewatching GOT and I'm Cleganing the world with the word Cunt. It's nothing personal.)
You did a good job for the first time out of the box.
Shut your eyes.... feel it.... smell it... tell your person about it. Write to an audience of one, and make sure they stick the seat. Fuck everything and everyone else.
2nd Mar 2023 6:33am
