Same Difference

I know you’re tired of hearing me complain
But everything feels the same
Whether I’m coming to a high
Or crying out of pain
My body shakes
And I’m left whispering your name


It makes me weak
But the release helps me sleep


Knees to my chest
I’m rocking back and forth on my bed Choking back the sounds
Coming out of my mouth
So no one will hear me screaming
I’m trying to steady my breathing
I’m sick of ending my nights
Staring at the ceiling


Why isn’t this helping me anymore
I’m laying on the cold floor
With yellow lights above my head
Feeling guilty and wishing I was dead
I hope no one will notice
The tear stains on my bed


If the world’s supposed to be clearer
Tell me why I still can’t look in the mirror
I’m too scared to die
So I’m just going to lay here all day
Let the tears fall back in my eyes
And keep fading away