Bon débarras

How was she supposed to know the the mushrooms
She carefully selected in the forest where she lived
Were poisonous?
True, she tried some, mixed with a bit of rat poison
Put in a dish discreetly placed in the bush
A matter of trying to get rid of that pest of a cat
Oh, wonders, it worked
But was it the rat poison alone or did the mushrooms help?
Not conclusive.
But it did get rid of one of her problems.
The bigger one was her slimy husband
A big constitution, strong
Could handle a case of beer no problem
While sitting on his behind in front of the T.V.
So why not try the same recipe?
She prepared the mix, ready to serve, called him.
As she did so, he got up - and collapsed
She could not see from the kitchen, heard the crash,
Thought he'd bumped into the small table next to his lazyboy
Called on him again, no response, went to see.
Seemingly dead.
Weak heart.
For a second she was sad
Took her a minute or three to find her phone
Found it.  But what was that emergency number again?