deepundergroundpoetry.com
Solaris
The very first time we had a fight
we did not make
eye contact
love
a sound
for so long that after a while
it was how it seemed to have been
from the start-since always
Two animals had tasted blood
there was no coming back
but we knew and did better
We got back
held hands
took days off
It all seemed to work
we made
progress
promises
post wild love
We had found our world until
our world found us
at unsuspecting moments
during all those months
of bickering and bitterness
while plates got thrown and
the hatred grown
It showed itself to us
in the cumbersome sadness
in our castrating madness
all the panting amidst
the ceaseless ranting
It was in
the fresh accuses
stale abuses
in tumblers cracked and hurled
hair strands torn and curled
In the end it became us-once
the denial was dysfunctional
it felt real-more than ever.
Photograph courtsey-Mehmet Turgut
Published 4th Apr 2012
| Edited 5th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 913
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Apr 2012 9:24am
this is a complex concept that you've conveyed well, even stuttered in your 'selah' style. beautiful story, lovin' the gut-hit reality, Sumeet, and it is more powerful for the length. [:
happy to see you back.
happy to see you back.
4th Apr 2012 10:58am
Jess
Such joy to see you.:)
I am glad for everything you have said here.
And the reference to 'Selah' lead me straight
to Google and then Wikipedia. It was something
worthwhile.
Thank you
Sumeet
p.s-All around me I see writing as sort of a 'saviour'. It brings back.
Such joy to see you.:)
I am glad for everything you have said here.
And the reference to 'Selah' lead me straight
to Google and then Wikipedia. It was something
worthwhile.
Thank you
Sumeet
p.s-All around me I see writing as sort of a 'saviour'. It brings back.
Anonymous
4th Apr 2012 3:42pm
Sumeet Panigrahi,
What a great slice of life - of relationship! And bringing it all full circle in your write was great to see. So many ways you could have taken this, but this path was much enjoyed! Loved your line:
"In the end it became us-once
the denial was dysfunctional"
Happy to be reading you again!
tornado
What a great slice of life - of relationship! And bringing it all full circle in your write was great to see. So many ways you could have taken this, but this path was much enjoyed! Loved your line:
"In the end it became us-once
the denial was dysfunctional"
Happy to be reading you again!
tornado
5th Apr 2012 6:24am
really enjoyed the write for its structure, and definitly for your ability to convey that oh so specific flavor of crazy that we all have seen in relationships...just as a picky point
"while plates got thrown and
the hatred grown"
sounds a bit out of place to me, perhaps-the hatred had grown?
I only mention it because it was the only stutter step i felt in a wondeful and easily found cadence
edit: after fifty say throughs i can hear it now...disregard previous statement
"while plates got thrown and
the hatred grown"
sounds a bit out of place to me, perhaps-the hatred had grown?
I only mention it because it was the only stutter step i felt in a wondeful and easily found cadence
edit: after fifty say throughs i can hear it now...disregard previous statement
5th Apr 2012 7:54am
lightbaron
Welcome on your maiden voyage.
I am glad it worked. For a moment
I felt the hiccup there. But then
upon your reassurance I rest.:)
Thank you.
Godspeed,
Sumeet
Welcome on your maiden voyage.
I am glad it worked. For a moment
I felt the hiccup there. But then
upon your reassurance I rest.:)
Thank you.
Godspeed,
Sumeet
