April 3,1975

    

   At a news desk sits a white male in his early 30's and is wearing the latest attire that is suited for on air broadcast for the year of 1975, though his entire ensemble is horrid, along with the mannequin style brown hair that is brushed to the left in the front to hide a form of insecurity. He relays the morning news stories, that is from a local station, affiliated with one of the prime time networks and is  broadcasted  from Seattle,WA.  Today is April 3,1975 & I have only this day to "stay" or "play", in order to remain here, alive, like you and today, I chose a "host" to help me "stay" & his name is Soothin Astroso & he will be my way.I am the day. April 3,1975 and have had ample amount of time to learn how to live here amongst you, in your flesh and thrive.  I am what is unknown to you as a component of time, or what your kind chooses to refer to "us" as "specific dates in time".    He leaves the studio at the same time in the afternoon, 12:26pm & drove to his condominium complex on Lake Washington. It was gated & privacy was something that he really needed.  When he was alone, he called himself 0, like the number Zero, even when he spoke it out loud.  He never thought of himself as really a person, so he was the most perfect "door" for me to enter.

As he pulled his black Pontiac to the gate & came to his parking spot, he didn't seen me as I took the form of a naked black woman coming out of the water, until he was about to enter his elevator.  He jumped to see a woman dripping with water in front of him & said nothing and got off at the 5th floor and I was right behind him.  He knew that I was following him, but turned to say nothing and just opened his door with the key.  I came in & he stood there,looking at me, in which I made attire of a blue strapless dress appear on my form and smiled.  He began to take off his coat and waved a motion of hello, as if he was not aware of my presence, but wanted to know that I was really there.  He held out his hand to touch mine and then fell to the ground in tears.  He had a blue sofa with beige buttons that I helped him onto, removing his overcoat.  I thought that he was a kind man, but from the feel of his smell, he was a lonely man.  Very lonely.

Being afraid as he should be, he asked if he could take off his coat, in which we nodded that he could. He then sat up looking at me in the eyes as I sat down next to him, facing the balcony that looked onto the lake.  He said that he needed to make a drink and offered me one, which I accepted.  The idea of "SPIRITS" in a bottle that come to life when you drink them has been a fascination of ours for eons, since it is something that we can only partake in, once we have a human form. There was a brown leather corner bar that was decorated by two wooden and brown leather stools.  He pulled out a small glass pot and began to heat a brown liquid that he poured from a glass container, a real pretty container, it was and said "It's brandy. It's really nice when it's warm.  It helps me to relax," he then quickly hastened his gaze, as not to look at me for too long.  " Do you mind if I smoke?  I feel that this helps me relax, regardless of the segment that we had about smoking," then he lights up a More menthol cigarette that has the smell of cocaine inside of the tobacco.  He inhales a large cloud of smoke, then exhales it, while his head is tipped back and smiles with the inundation that looks ill and contrive with sinful harm.  "Will there ever be peace in the places that the heart does really mean love?"  He says this aloud and fills two brandy sifters with the warm beverage and slowly walks over to the couch and sits with a dangerous feline flair.  Handing me a glass, I said, "If you would like to see 0, I can make that happen."



He kind of looked shocked, then relaxed his face and said with a giggle, "Oh?  Will it hurt?"  "Only the longer you let her stay out, but be warned, if she doesn't have a form ,what you see before your eyes will definitely startle you."  He kinds of gestures as if he doesn't believe me, then he pauses, rises to his feet in a defensive stance, goes behind his bar and pulls out a black .38 revolver,chambers the barrel to point and ask sternly, "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT SHE IS SHE?" I then have the gun in my hand before he can blink or breathe, then he leans back, looking to the ground. ..."how did you know that 0 is a she?  Are you.... well it doesn't matter, yes... if you can make her appear, then it would..." His sentences do not make any sense and I guide him to the couch.  Offering him a smoke of his preference, as I indulge with him this time and we finish our drinks.  He brings about a more calm aura about himself and in the room.  I then tell him to go to the bathroom and she will be here when he comes out.  He laughed, because I knew he had to go and did not question the moment, as if he forgot all about the offer and what was said.  When he arrived back from the lavatory, there before him was what 0 has looked like to him all of this time.  She was naked and just as he imagined.  All that he could do was fall to his knees and buckle under his tears of fear and gratitude.  "Dammit, unto all that should not be and this," she said.  This could not be more moving to him, because in all of the chances that are told to be seen about the points of your life, no one see's themselves as a woman that they have never met before.  Before us was the image of Mary Ure, a woman that he had wanted to be since he was a child.  This is 0.



"Mary Ure was the first person that I was in love with, before I even loved myself,"  Soothin began speaking, attempting to hold back his tears.  "She was ten years older than me to the day and the most becoming woman that I had ever seen. I had heard about a play that my parents were talking about to my uncle, his new wife and a few of their friends that came over for a party, the day after their wedding.  I was 15, my brother was 17 and my sister was 14.  We were on a semi vacation in Manhattan in 1958, this was when my Uncle Closie got married.  My mother being his only sister felt obligated that we should go, though my father protested at the price, but none the less, my mother's wishes were granted.  They were talking about this actress that they said was from Scotland and she was absolutely phenomenal.  One of my new aunt's friends had produced an autographed photo that she had signed for her the night before. I eased into the conversation and asked the woman that was speaking what was her name, in which so wanting to see the photo of this woman, because it was some form of connection.  This beautiful woman, this beautiful Black woman had shown me a picture of the most important  moment that was ever born.  Her way that she looked in the black and white five by seven and underneath her gallant pose was a message  which I couldn't read, but the name was very clear: 'Mary Ure. The name alone held me in awe and knew that I had to meet or or at least see the play, somehow.  The next day, I asked my uncle where the play was at and he said it was showing on Broadway.  Well, no matter what, I had to go.  I asked my father to buy me a ticket and he looked at me puzzled and said that he would think about it, which usually meant no.  So then I asked my brother for a favor, because he didn't like our father anyway, so to defy him, being my father's favorite, he said that he wanted to go see the play, and that the whole family should go."  He then paused for a moment then went to the bedroom to get a  dress for 0, but when he came out, he heard his voice coming out of 0's mouth.  As she continued the story, he came around the corner to see that she was already dressed, wearing the same thing as I was, and making drinks for the three of us behind the bar.  I motion Soothin to the couch by a forceful tug to get his attention, in which he sits in compliance, placing the blue dress across his lap.  Heating the Brandy, 0 continues with,  "My father was moved that my brother had an interest in something of an artistic nature, instead of the military.  My sister didn't care, she just wanted to see the city, as well as my mother.  I was in love with the character that she portrayed, named Alison Porter.  It was the fist time I've seen a stage play and on of the only times that we did things as a family, without pretending to be one."  0 came and sat down between us and continued speaking. Soothin was afraid.  Horribly afraid.  "I had seen the movie version of the play the following year and every film that she was in, but then..." 0 stopped and looked at Soothin, who was gazing into the carpet.  "My father found photos and clippings that I had saved from her and he got upset.  So upset, he took them and sent me to live with my aunt and uncle in Manhattan. From there I went to collage, got my degree and became a journalist.  I never had forgotten her or the impact that she had upon me."  Soothin got up and went to the balcony, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes.  I decided that we should go and eat.  I had him call a taxi and had him change his clothes.


We went to a steak house located downtown, where Soothin was relaxed and full of conversation, laughs and warmth.  The people in the restaurant were staring at us for some reason and keeping their distance from 0, for some reason, looking at her out of the corner of their eyes.  When the meal was done, the manager and executive chef came to the table to thank us for coming and the bill would be paid for by them, in honor of us having a good time.  There was a taxi waiting for us at the door, in which we rode back to Soothin's home.  The cab driver kept looking in the rear view mirror, particularly at 0, but was silent about what was obvious an amount of curiosity.  As we entered the gate to the complex, the driver turns to us and says, "Could you please answer me this question and the ride is on me," he says.  Soothin nods in compliance, then the driver asks,  "Am I dead?"  Soothin lets out a loud embarrassing laugh and exits the cab and we follow.  as we exited the elevator and went into his condo, Soothin was all smiles.  He locked the door behind us  took of his coat and turned on the television, what he heard as he went to the bar, floored him, literally. "Mary Ure dead today, at the age of 42.  We'll have more news after this,"  the reporter says, before going to a commercial.  Soothin screams out loud and begins to tear up his condominium.  Breaking glass, turning over tables, breaking mirrors.  He then took out his revolver from off the floor and aimed it at myself and 0.  "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU,HUH?  WHO?  ARE YOU A SICK PART OF SOME LOUD JOKE?  DID MY FATHER PUT YOU UP TO THIS?"  Soothin is screaming at the top of his lungs "I am April th-" I begin to say, and he backs up with the gun to the left side of his neck, cocked and ready to shoot.  " Don't move or else I will do IT!" I stepped toward him and he shot himself in the neck.  His body withered on the carpet as blood seeped from the wound and he began to convulse.  I caused two long coats to appear on 0 and myself, as the path back to whence I came appeared right above his balcony.  Taking 0 by the hand, we walked along the path, giving one last look at Soothin as he lay dying.


Well, it appears that my moment was only to "play".  As for Soothin, well he died and wasn't found until 6 days later.  At his request there was no funeral or any type of memorial.  The only thing that he asked for was to have his ashes spread out across parts of Glasgow, Scotland, but his father had refused to do this and threw his remains in the garbage, not telling his family.  Maybe I will get to come back, maybe I won't want to, yet, there is always room in life for life and maybe room is too much for life itself.  Maybe.