My Past Haunts Me

And I don't know why I can't get passed my past  
I know that I'm blessed and i'm proud of that    
I don't see a fucking thing that's higher than that    
And if I die before I wake I pray that I'm free at last    
And I'm just lookin at the world through my rear view mirror
I'm a little older    
Life’s a little clearer    
I was young but I knew that you could make it better    
I think back to the days when I was way worse    
Now I realize that pain could never get worse    
And I was blessed with a curse    
I had to get hurt    
I had to figure that it wouldn't work    
Making money off these words    
I don't have to rap about it to you anymore    
I write with these lyrics in the name of the lord    
My days are long and my time is short    
So don't waste your life in the eyes of the lord    
Cause god is my rifle and god is my source    
I know the lord is my shepherd so it cannot be lost    
I know my king's been down and I know that I won't be bought    
My soul will not be pawned    
My mind will not accept the fact that I'm a slave to my own soul    
I ain't gotta do that shit no more    
I don't got a lot to stand for    
I just want you all to know    
Got a heart full of pain and I can’t let go    
My body keeps telling me to keep my music tight    
I got money but its better than life and it comes and goes    
Its a shame how the game goes    
Feel the pain I feel the love I had to let you know    
Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are low    
I have to learn to trust that I never really do    
But I still feel it when I think of all the things I did to you    
You were the one I would always dream to    
I still feel the same way too    
Nothing but the same old truth