Learning

Sorry to burst your bubble,
By being so much gosh-darn trouble,
I didn't mean what I said,
It elicited a different reaction in my head,
It had a more helpful outcome in my head,
I reacted so poorly,
In a manner so abruptly,
In a manner so loudly,
I'm sorry for what I did say,
And sorry for what I didn't say,
I didn't mean to act this way.
I haven't been the adult I should have been,
I wish I could throw myself in a trash bin,
I've been more mature in certain ways
But less than average in the most common ways,
I think learning this later is my trade-off,
At which, I shouldn't scoff.
I can only hope from now on, I cause less strife,
I can only hope, someday, I'll make a good wife,
A good partner, should I choose to wed,
Instead of being terrible, and making my deathbed.
I don't want to lay down on my bed of thorns anymore,
Thinking about my problems galore,
Poking me in the brain and heart,
Tearing me apart.
I'm sorry it took me this long to see,
That I haven't been the child you've needed me to be,
I didn't yet learn many interaction subtleties
That would bring our lives much more ease,
Even though subtlety is my whole thing,
I didn't learn the subtleties that would bring
Peace of mind and understanding
To my life's standing.
I've been a good person, and continue to do so,
But I've also neglected to do
Some of the things that I need to do.
This is something I'm embarrassed to admit
But I need to grow up more than I have, I need it,
We need it,
We both need me to do better,
Better than I've been doing in some respects,
In the ways that I've been falling short, these aspects.