deepundergroundpoetry.com
Notice Me
i'm the screech of tires
in your zen garden
a cacophany of fireworks
on a Tuesday in March
a rock concert whisper
as you're falling asleep
an icy blanket
on a hot summer day
notice me
i'm a partially sketched memory
on an 80 foot screen
a two-ton eagle
carrying you across a lake
you better notice me
or i'll infiltrate your brain with poetry
a loaded vacuum
obliterating
any memory of her
in your zen garden
a cacophany of fireworks
on a Tuesday in March
a rock concert whisper
as you're falling asleep
an icy blanket
on a hot summer day
notice me
i'm a partially sketched memory
on an 80 foot screen
a two-ton eagle
carrying you across a lake
you better notice me
or i'll infiltrate your brain with poetry
a loaded vacuum
obliterating
any memory of her
Published 26th Oct 2022
Author's Note
Ever come across a poem you'd forgotten you'd written and thought WTF?
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 2
comments 10
reads 400
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
26th Oct 2022 8:40am
<< post removed >>
27th Oct 2022 2:48am
26th Oct 2022 8:43am
I do love the flow of this. I write a lot of wtf poems to this day so i guess i can't judge my younger self too much haha. Mostly the ones i wrote about crushes can be a bit cringy.
27th Oct 2022 7:28am
To be hones, I remember liking it when I wrote it. I like it now too. But yeah, I do have some real wtf poems.
26th Oct 2022 1:18pm
Yeah
This one has float and bounce
That vacuum line makes me cringe
I notice you a lot
You know ?
This one has float and bounce
That vacuum line makes me cringe
I notice you a lot
You know ?
27th Oct 2022 7:26am
2nd Nov 2022 3:52am
You're not supposed to hide your valuables so well that you forget where you put them, like this write of yours.
This is awesome! I love the confidence. It isn't threatening, and I know you don't mean it to be. It's simply projecting your power forward.
Oh shit, honest critique? Nope. I'm not one to smack hands with a ruler. I rather pass the secret notes back and forth with ya.
This is awesome! I love the confidence. It isn't threatening, and I know you don't mean it to be. It's simply projecting your power forward.
Oh shit, honest critique? Nope. I'm not one to smack hands with a ruler. I rather pass the secret notes back and forth with ya.
2nd Nov 2022 5:55am
11th Nov 2022 4:46am
This is really good. Loved how original and clever the metaphors are. It's easy to notice you with writing as good as this :)
Mundus
Mundus
11th Nov 2022 4:50am
