Moment Of Truth

suddenly not being
in control
 
learning to
quell panic
 
that
moment
 
when
he’s deciding
 
and i’m
waiting
 
inevitable
panic
 
wanting to
retreat
 
take
control
 
wanting to
say no
 
needing to
say yes
 
sadistic beast
unpredictable
 
back and forth
feels like  
 
it will
kill me
 
considerate
sadism
 
gentle
harsh
 
measured
violence
 
soft
hard
 
kind
cruel
 
thoughtful
inconsiderate
 
hard to
keep up
 
harder to
predict
 
impossible to
prepare
 
impossible to
trust a moment of kindness
 
impossible to
disregard a moment of evil
 
expression of intentions
never guaranteed
 
future decisions
based purely on
 
how pleasurable
they feel in
 
this moment
 
(C)2022 Raibeart Bruis