Jailhouse Rock

English courts are stars and garters
As American courts give fines
Mostly to trailer park martyrs
When an indiscretion inclines.
So why are the English better
In matters of jurisprudence
Like timely use of a fetter
Or, implementation of fence?
I suspect old puritan stock
And all their angry descendants
Perversely crave to punish a flock
Of low rent codependents.
But now that the internet's here
They can worship something gracious
Such as a midnight sonneteer
And his elegance capacious,
Which recommends more humane brigs
And lawyers with more powdery wigs!