deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hollow words
He said, "Dispense
with pretence". It
made sense, although
now I know that
means no more of his insincere chat.
with pretence". It
made sense, although
now I know that
means no more of his insincere chat.
Published 7th Aug 2022
Author's Note
Playing with the Ya-du form.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 3
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
7th Aug 2022 00:19am
Nice use of the form.
In English, the B-rhymes, B1 and B2, would be considered assonance, instead of rhymes, like the first 3 As.
One wonders if this is an issue caused by the difference in languages.
An example of this would be the way rhymes are graded in French compared to English.
The same question would have us look at the use of "that," both as C1 and used in the 2nd line (the wikipedia page where I read about Yadu didn't have the C rhyme in the 2nd line, so maybe that's an issue of different sources).
Enjoyed!
In English, the B-rhymes, B1 and B2, would be considered assonance, instead of rhymes, like the first 3 As.
One wonders if this is an issue caused by the difference in languages.
An example of this would be the way rhymes are graded in French compared to English.
The same question would have us look at the use of "that," both as C1 and used in the 2nd line (the wikipedia page where I read about Yadu didn't have the C rhyme in the 2nd line, so maybe that's an issue of different sources).
Enjoyed!
7th Aug 2022 7:08pm
Assonance would be a fun variation. We just used different sources. The 'that' on the second line was just a case of me copying it wrongly, and you commented before I'd had a chance to change it. Nice to see you, and thanks for your feedback, as ever.
7th Aug 2022 2:48am
Dear E,
A new form of poetry to learn. How wonderful. I liked the rhyming portion as well as the meter. I thought the subject very clever. Kind of reminded me of someone I once worked along side. Couldn’t trust a thing he said. Terrific piece. H🌷
A new form of poetry to learn. How wonderful. I liked the rhyming portion as well as the meter. I thought the subject very clever. Kind of reminded me of someone I once worked along side. Couldn’t trust a thing he said. Terrific piece. H🌷
