BS

Phrogging: a phenomenon of people secretly living inside someone else’s home. How many times have I toad you, to get a job?  
 
You are 56 years old and still living at home. Don't you think it strange that you are wearing your mom's clothes? You were born with the jeans of a male. I assume that they were Levi's. My question is. What did you do with her garter belt? It just seems peculiar that a guy in Italy steps out in a white dress and Beenie. Just because he does it doesn't give you the right to jump the line and wear your mom's new garter before me. It's not fair. I pay the bills and put food on the table.  Ok, Ok! you are a Jesuit Priest.    
 
What is this thing about 30 pieces of Silver that you speak of? One has to be a sicko to mess with the Lone Ranger's horse. Cheetos have infected your brain cells.    
 
I can't get over the number of teapots in society.  It's even a frigging rhyme. Come on, folks! Wake up and smell the paper roses. So, take away the paper and don't be cheap. Steal your neighbor's hibiscus.  
 
I can't because I suffer from Asthma and allergies. Don't let these fools try to convince you that there is a difference between a teapot and a tea kettle.      
 
Jiminy Cricket is a damn grasshopper. I don't give a canoe what Walt Disney claimed. I never heard of the guy. Don't you find it strange that Peter Rabbit is a fairy tale? My dad is a fairy but his ears have been cropped. He is a hoot at church when he tally me banana.    
 
" O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Such silly asinine use of the King's English. Hey, dude! Where the hell are you?    
 
Remember the sitcom, "My Mother the Car?" How many talking Studebakers have you talked with? Now, believe it or not! my Aunt Sally is a Kia and we often talk.    
 
Grandpa can't walk and chew gum because his dentures are in the pawn show. Reminds me of a song:  
 
Don't take your gum to town son  
Leave your gum at home, Bill  
Don't take your gum to town  
 
Sort of grabs ya by the stacking swivel, doesn't it? Made me tear up my blue eyes.  
 
Just how many oats eating does have you seen lately? Does eat grass and poo all over my forty acres. OK, Ok! one third on an acre.    
 
I can't get over the number of teapots in society It gives me constipation.