Lines for The Benefit of a Prideful, Pro Vatican Poetry Critic.

God help he who thinks heptameters a treasure
When for fun he may instead just use a Poulter's measure,
Which you'd expect to hear from some pedantic prof
Whenever he wasn't pederastically beating off,
But with Catholics now that seems to be the way
When they're cruising denial, or praying some gay away.
Yet, it would explain why his arguments are weak
So distracted he must be, by hindquarters young and sleek,
But all you have to read is "Casey at The Bat"
To check that your fourteener rhythm isn't flat,
And truth be told it's just another kind of rap
Probably available on someone's smart phone app!

Plus it's extra tragic, when academics think,
That only they possess the sort of shit that doesn't stink!
No, that's not how it works with creative juices
Since guts are just as gross with professorial deuces,
And though he may possess a sacred PhD
He skipped the class where poets write nonacademically,
Which worked out well for The Beatles and The Bard,
A conclusion reachable...without help from Scotland Yard!