American Conflict Resolution (and Luck)

The grocery store near my apartment
is not exactly Whole Foods
no $7 bottles of alkanline water
no emu eggs
the demographic here
trends more toward shoplift
than face lift

i needed laundry detergent
my Cheer free and clear pods
exploded
didn't know they could do that
summer in hellizona

the housewares aisle is deserted
except for one average sized man
he's taking up the whole aisle
not just with his body
but with his aura

i have a new agey bent
but this surprises me

instinct guides me two aisles down

moments later
a belligerent voice
"why you in my face? you gotta problem?"
a young store employee
trying to keep his voice calm
tells him he was just trying to pass by

"no you waznt mothafucka!"

more ungrammatical spewings
more stammering from the young employee
whose voice
sadly
is faltering
an adolescent
asking out his unobtainable dream girl


"Go ahead and call the muthafuckin' cops"

"We have one right here in the store" young employee states triumphantly
newly confident
alluding perhaps
 to a security guard i hadn't noticed
as likely as not
 an asthmatic 70 year old

more ungrammatical spewing
more noble bravado
i want to go over
tell the 19 year old it's not worth it

but then i'll be the one who gets shot


no one was shot
the roulette wheel landed on black
it could easily have been red
or vice versa

the next morning
i'm subbing summer school
easy gig
high schoolers on educational software
finishing missed or failed classes

the registrar appears in the doorway
summons me urgently
we need to go into lockdown
don't let the kids out
angry parent making violent threats
police have been called

a tall male student
had slunk into the room earlier
neanderthal like walk
-the modern version of a swagger i guess-
he'd exuded toughness
i'd felt vaguely intimidated

now he looks up at me with big eyes

softly
he asks what's going on

he's scared

i want to hug him

there's no danger
i say cheerfully
idiotically
(like anyone can believe that anymore)
there's a pissed off parent
they just want to get the situation resolved
we just have to wait a few minutes...

he nods a thank you
perhaps to my sembalance of honesty
perhaps to my comforting lie


-no one got shot-

lucky again

maybe i should go to Vegas
try my luck at the roulette wheel
continue my winning streak
gamble all night long

i can't sleep anymore anyway

who can?