deepundergroundpoetry.com
schmetterling
they won't speak to me
can't hear the shudder anymore
of stanzas
recuperating from flesh plunged
sewing up of wounds with letters
written to the past
to the next
maybe the deepest magic
has returned to forests
sirens &selkies
or mustered its.whole.self
into faraway 4am
firelit sandy toes
whisky tunes
filling lungs with schmetterling
[chin up, darling
to the ever expanding wonder
of lights &dust]
but i am passing now
survivalist stagnancy
stone.carved.rut
in the base of my skull
while solid
clumsy words clack &roll down
into my chest
one by one by one
heavy
grey
&meaningless
Published 10th May 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 4
comments 6
reads 646
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
10th May 2022 11:25pm
Anonymous
- Edited 10th May 2022 11:51pm
10th May 2022 11:50pm
Of course. Of course I was drawn here. Bitch loves a bit of German.
What I found really interesting about the title here, is you have the literal translation of butterfly, but the word has also become a German slang swear as well. And this dual meaning of beauty and crassness descended somewhat into an excellent metaphor between the beauty of writing, and the reality of it. At least that’s where my mind took me.
A heavy write this one. I am however a firm believer that you should write. Especially when you don’t want to. That’s when we need it most.
Thank you for sharing this.
-M
What I found really interesting about the title here, is you have the literal translation of butterfly, but the word has also become a German slang swear as well. And this dual meaning of beauty and crassness descended somewhat into an excellent metaphor between the beauty of writing, and the reality of it. At least that’s where my mind took me.
A heavy write this one. I am however a firm believer that you should write. Especially when you don’t want to. That’s when we need it most.
Thank you for sharing this.
-M
Fooking hell Jess!
What I love most about this write is that the use of vocabulary and metaphore is so dam strong that it will in it's wonderful imagery take different readers to different places.
For example Missy above took the translation from the title being the butterfly and I took the literal approach ( admit it was the use of "sirens &selkies" lower down) that lead me to lean towards the witchcraft of stealing milk products. So right there you could run a comp and award a trophy for "read my poem and tell me what it means" haha!
Though I'm inclined to feel that it's all wordplay and that's what makes it lovely.
I really like the style in this write. Those full stops thoughtfully placed and the magical use of &. It's almost like a mix of old Jesta style meets new Jesta style and they fall together and just work. It's relavant, artistic and really kind to the eye.
I'm really glad you wrote this piece. It would have been so easy to pack it up and leave it unworded and to quote two rather knowledgeable people.
- the truth will out
- just write and write and write
I'm fairly certain at some point in the future you're going to edit that ending. I'm sure those final three words change. But like a decent wine they wait their turn. When the time is right ;)
Thank you for this. I'm extremely grateful that you shared it.
;)
Blue Skies at you
Al
What I love most about this write is that the use of vocabulary and metaphore is so dam strong that it will in it's wonderful imagery take different readers to different places.
For example Missy above took the translation from the title being the butterfly and I took the literal approach ( admit it was the use of "sirens &selkies" lower down) that lead me to lean towards the witchcraft of stealing milk products. So right there you could run a comp and award a trophy for "read my poem and tell me what it means" haha!
Though I'm inclined to feel that it's all wordplay and that's what makes it lovely.
I really like the style in this write. Those full stops thoughtfully placed and the magical use of &. It's almost like a mix of old Jesta style meets new Jesta style and they fall together and just work. It's relavant, artistic and really kind to the eye.
I'm really glad you wrote this piece. It would have been so easy to pack it up and leave it unworded and to quote two rather knowledgeable people.
- the truth will out
- just write and write and write
I'm fairly certain at some point in the future you're going to edit that ending. I'm sure those final three words change. But like a decent wine they wait their turn. When the time is right ;)
Thank you for this. I'm extremely grateful that you shared it.
;)
Blue Skies at you
Al
22nd May 2022 3:55am
If this is writer's block for you, it's a block party!
You have word-builds in here that are sledge hammers, smashing any signs of blocks.
You have tremendous power.
You have word-builds in here that are sledge hammers, smashing any signs of blocks.
You have tremendous power.
Anonymous
12th Jun 2022 9:19pm
<< post removed >>
12th Jan 2024 3:49pm
The "Schmetterling Effect," eh? Flapping its wings out of the corner of my eye and transform the ordinary into a perfect storm of imagery. Who woulda thunk it!
You should be arrested for brilliance above and beyond the call of the humdrum.
Luvvit.
You should be arrested for brilliance above and beyond the call of the humdrum.
Luvvit.
