The cloud hand

There once was a little kid who ate out of a hand. When the kid was growing up, there was always enough to eat in the hand. In school the hand was full of good grades, in church the hand was full of good organ playing and singing. Out of this hand the kid ate adoration and success. Out of this hand the kid ate a good life where everything was fine.

But as it grew older, there were times when the hand was empty or even vanished from time to time. But the hand was never gone so long that the child would suffer from hunger. The hand always came back, and with it the security that he would always have the food he got from the hand.

But one day the child was part of something great. It helped build something which was going to be used by many people. And there was a time when there was a problem and the child didn't know what the right way to solve the problem was. It had a solution, but it was unclear whether the solution would work. Maybe the solution brought its own mistakes with it, which would only be noticed in the future. There was uncertainty. The hand was gone. And it wasn't only gone for a few hours or a day. It would be gone for a long time, because it would never be completely clear whether there was a remaining problem or not.
 
This shocked the child so much that he became sick. He was on the point of running away from everything. He thought he wasn't fit to do what he did. He thought that the place where until then he had felt so comfortable was the wrong place after all. And the child cried. He cried and raged internally.  He didn't want to go on.

But the child also had friends he could talk to. Those friends raised him up. They told him that mistakes are normal. That he shouldn't give up. That the situation wasn't as bad as it seemed. They gave the child little snacks where it had been on the point of starving.

But mostly the child was alone. He couldn't just rely on nourishment from his friends. He had to find a source of nourishment inside of himself. He had to find something which could nourish him independently of the cloud hand.

This child was me and I used to feel the way I described not long ago. To some extent I still do. I still have to start walking a way I have neglected. I have to find something outside of my work which fulfills me. This is a journey into the unknown for me. Maybe it will be writing. Maybe another hobby. I don't know yet. But I know that I have to walk this way.  

Why, dear reader, am I telling you this? Because I ask you not to wait. If, like me, you get your soul food out of the cloud hand of success, and from nowhere else, then start to look for another source of food for your soul. When the cloud hand fades you will need it. I hope it never fades in your life. But if it does you need something else which nourishes you and makes you strong. Don't wait until it is almost too late. Don't wait until the cloud hand fades.

Start going another way today.