If

If I only knew the magic words to say
To make you believe I love you
I try but sometimes I think  
I'm just trying to convince myself
Because my words never get through to you
There's a distance of miles
Standing next to you
Like talking through walls
Or not at all
How can only one feel everything
And the other feel nothing at all
I don't know
I know I don't know
And still I care
 
*
 
Now its been a few years
And I still think about you
The friend and nothing more I knew
Sometimes I think, If only...
Most times I turn off the thoughts
The feelings are harder
But they've died with time
 
I don't know that I've become
Anyone you'd dream of
My dreams are smoke from a distant fire
A crash and burn
I lived through and moved on
 
A funny word "if"
A sadder phrase, "if only"
 
But once upon a time
I dreamed enough for two