I  really do

I guess I've done some pretty stupid things
Like not acknowledging the fact that you have a girlfriend

But you spent your nights with me instead of her
So who was I to say no?
Who was I to tell you to go?

To go and be with her when you could be with me instead
I just wanted to lay with you in my bed

You didn't love her anyway
So what's the point of me caring about her feelings more than you do?
She's just a stranger with a name to me
You're the one who's supposed to love her
Not me
Not me

And now after all this time I'm here
While you're way over there
And I think it's unfair
That I depend on someone who isn't present

Why am I so codependent?
On fools who do nothing but cheat and lie
They leave too
And they never say goodbye

And I think I know why
I think I know why

They wanna come back every time
The unsaid goodbye is a ticket back for them
And a proof of my foolishness

The sound of an unsaid farewell still rings loudly in my head
And my temples hurt
And I wish you were here

Even though I hate you
I really do
But I love you too

It's not fair that feelings work this way
I want them to go away
But I can't let go
Because I don't know how to make myself hate you even more than I already do
Just enough to want you gone
That's all I need
Really

And I wish I knew how to move on
I really do
I really do