one

  
 
   
    submerged, is where I've always been; I binge over and over again.... the ocean; it is my  "friend";  
   
    
     then I find self; one foot out and one foot in; out there-what am I really missing; I just need to numb the feelings;  
   
   
  they're not mine; I don't want to claim them; feelings-they're troubling; good for nothing  
   
   
 but it's also ridiculous to be overly "masculine"; beat my chest for what? validation?  
   
   
 I'm just a camper whose camping; while mentally attempting to "escape" entrapment....