Push Present

While fully willing to move on  
there are times when my mind  
goes back even two years  
to finding out Jennifer had passed  
 
The isolation of grief intensified by the  
height of quarantine with Covid  
and a feeling of depression  
seemingly gripping the northwest  
 
Already given to a bit of depression due to the lack of solid sunlight in the Winter  
people in a state of malaise  
either self medicating or self art  
 
The booze, the pills, the smoke  
other addiction with one arm bandits  
piercings and body ink in the extreme  
coffee and video games en vogue  
 
Not looking we became what I  
never thought and became close physically  
we never explored raw intimacies  
before she was gone  
 
Her place was a positive in all aspects  
except for her passing  
triggered by a rush to the hospital  
response to a condition I knew not  
 
Aware that the smooth course we  
pursued was a delightful exchange  
unlike the physical aggression  
she experienced years ago  
 
Her kindness what I miss the most  
her support for me when  
I doubted myself
surprise that the attraction was mutual  
 
As we hopefully turn the tide  
on the world wide pandemic  
I look forward to being open  
and appreciating what leads me to now…