Prime Thoughts

As I rack my brain for the correct words to say and the proper tone in which to deliver them,
I can't help but feel like I'm putting on an act.

It is as if I am now tamed,
At the mercy and whimse of the sensitive souls,
Who couldn't bear to view the movie reels that my mind would roll.

There is a clear and concise distinction between what is spoken and what is thought.
And essentially, the both are worlds apart.

This in itself redefines the phrase "Mean what you say, and say what you mean."
As I hold this phrase dear to my heart, I find myself now questioning my own convictions,
Considering how much people pleasing I do,
Considering how much filtering has been done.

And so I find myself caught between my instincts and giving people what they want.
If I run unfiltered, therein lies the risk of my hurting others,
Many others,
But if I don't follow my prime,
Does the very fiber of my constitution become a lie?

-J.R.