I Don't Belong Anywhere

My thoughts echo off these walls,
And the air grows heavy.  
I need a prayer to lift my soul.
 
The emptiness in this place  
Seems to hold me hostage
With no further counsel  
To nourish my soul.  
There's nothing to think about  
Except thoughts.
 
A suffocating silence squeezes me tight  
Hell bent on crushing the breath  
Right out of my lungs.
Whats that? You thought  
someone could hear you?  
 
Screams and cries lie captive
Behind lips and eyes  
That cannot bring themselves to speak.  
There's nothing left to say.
 
Once unhinged fits that left me hoarse  
Now lie dormant and dwindle  
Becoming poison that seems  
To seep into every inch of me.
You are disappearing.
 
My body lays siege to itself
With a volley of blows
That leave my spirit weak.
If only you didn't destroy
Everything you touch.
 
Paralyzed, mute, and numb,
I lie in the darkness
Staring at the ceiling  
Until my eyes glaze over
And my truest selves
Abandon post.  
That's it, baby, give in.
 
A stark proposal glides close  
Smooth and seductive  
As a lover with lips on my neck.  
You poor, touch starved soul.
 
The quiet but constant notion
Lingers as idle background chatter
Until my diligence fails  
And the muffled voices  
Become a deafening wail.  
I want to die.  
 
 
... Why won't you let me die?