deepundergroundpoetry.com
Treaty
It was once written
When the people
Make a Treaty
With the
Government
It is
The Treaty
That counts
IT Don't Matter
The Terms
So long
As there Are
Terms
It's the goodwill
The Moral Promises
That Matter
And when and if
They Runout
There is
No More Treaty
No matter the words
That Are Written
When the people
Make a Treaty
With the
Government
It is
The Treaty
That counts
IT Don't Matter
The Terms
So long
As there Are
Terms
It's the goodwill
The Moral Promises
That Matter
And when and if
They Runout
There is
No More Treaty
No matter the words
That Are Written
Published 21st Oct 2021
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comments 2
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
21st Oct 2021 11:08am
I like the ironic bookends--
Nice effect--
I'm not sure if I'd try to develop the middle a bit more or not;
The turn after "Moral Promises" the when & if part is a bit thin; I'd probably go back and look at that last turn--
considering it's the last twist before the punch line / ironic pay off, it's maybe deserving of another look--
Enjoyed!
Nice effect--
I'm not sure if I'd try to develop the middle a bit more or not;
The turn after "Moral Promises" the when & if part is a bit thin; I'd probably go back and look at that last turn--
considering it's the last twist before the punch line / ironic pay off, it's maybe deserving of another look--
Enjoyed!
22nd Oct 2021 8:08am
