deepundergroundpoetry.com
Desperate Dreams
Logical
Is never linnear
When I have
No control
Of my
Whisperings Imotions
That shows me
Pictures
Of commercials
With poster adds
In between
With scenarios
Of what can be
If
I Do Not Think
Even when
In My Heart
I Know
It cannot Be
Is never linnear
When I have
No control
Of my
Whisperings Imotions
That shows me
Pictures
Of commercials
With poster adds
In between
With scenarios
Of what can be
If
I Do Not Think
Even when
In My Heart
I Know
It cannot Be
Published 21st Oct 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 166
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
21st Oct 2021 11:23am
I really like the first 2 lines--
there's a real hook to them, that keeps pulling at me, even as the poem does some various things that vex me--
the syntactical ambiguity if not confusion--
there's something going on in the end of the poem, but the syntax / grammatical difficulty in the middle part makes it too difficult for me to make it through, in terms of comprehension--
Unlike the other poem you published a bit later, this one resists my intelligence too much, and I can't quite get it to pay off--
Again, I really like the hook in the beginning, and I believe there's something really substantial here, but I can't quite grasp it.
Enjoyed, but feel like there's more here I didn't get.
there's a real hook to them, that keeps pulling at me, even as the poem does some various things that vex me--
the syntactical ambiguity if not confusion--
there's something going on in the end of the poem, but the syntax / grammatical difficulty in the middle part makes it too difficult for me to make it through, in terms of comprehension--
Unlike the other poem you published a bit later, this one resists my intelligence too much, and I can't quite get it to pay off--
Again, I really like the hook in the beginning, and I believe there's something really substantial here, but I can't quite grasp it.
Enjoyed, but feel like there's more here I didn't get.
22nd Oct 2021 8:07am
Sometimes
I'm the same
I write a saying
Where it came from
I don't have a clue
And don't understand it
I have to read it
A few times
Before I get it
Then post it
Thank you for reading
I'm the same
I write a saying
Where it came from
I don't have a clue
And don't understand it
I have to read it
A few times
Before I get it
Then post it
Thank you for reading
