sorry for all the shitty birthday cakes

I always wanted to be "that" mum
healthy, homemade, and looking like
it belonged in a cook book

I failed on two out of three
though I tried so hard to find a balance
and Iet's be honest
I don't have enough patience
to be a home cook pastry chef

And maybe it's a defining moment
of your childhood
(as well as one of my parenting)
that my most memorable homemade meal
consisted of polenta, cup'o soup and cheddar cheese
and I know the croutons didn't really belong
but damn they tasted good
and maybe that was my win
making weird yet edible dishes
on a budget from whatever was in the pantry
and on special at the shops

Because my chocolate cake
that was so dense it was a choc chip
away from being a block of chocolate
and the somewhat gummy
vegan caramel cake you
challenged me to make on a dare
were definitely not my proudest moments

Though I tried so freaking hard
to be "that" mum
it's not who I was meant to be
and I'm sorry for all the shitty birthday cakes
I tried so hard to make but could never nail

I'll never forget that
your favourite birthday cake
was an $8 clearance chocolate cake
shaped like an echidna
and the only thing you were mad about
was that you couldn't eat the decorative
plastic face

© Indie Adams 2021