Everyday

Absent stares melting into the dust covered wall
Turning the hanging pictures and chipping paint job
Into a haze of mundane reverie.
Eyes with sparkle lost
Into blank slate minds
Tucking themselves away
From the cold truth they were sold in lies

Going through the motions
With half assed smiles and goodwill greetings,
The charade of our pride goes on
So maybe we'll forget to look
At the pile of dashed hopes and dreams
Left to stale
Like old newspapers from days long gone

I slowly fade into the air around me
Imagining myself dissipating like mist
Floating like wishes blown from dandelions
And birthday candles
Present only by the silent screams
Seeping from my innermost selves
To pierce the mindless babble of the day
As biting words hang on the coattails
Of expressions desperately hiding
The apathy of hope lost.

 I crave the feeling of warmth,
Fulfillment that satisfies even the most hidden wounds
Scarred on my being forever
But paranoia and vengeful words
Guard me lock and key
As fearful thoughts turned toxic
Lunge straight for the kill
Mindlessly driving even the most loving hearts
Far from my affections and farther from their own swagger
As if I were programmed to break those unfortunate loves
Into a million shattered and trembling pieces
In the name of self preservation
And in the shadow of arsenic tongues
Commanding the burning
Of fellowship and flawed affections .
Faces of broken hearts that will burn themselves
 In my tender but erring mind
For the rest of my days.

We all lie to ourselves and others
And the lies grow spirits of their own
Rotting us all from the inside out
Do you feel your heart swallowing itself
And washing away as I do?