The Fantasy That Keeps Me Awake

The Fantasy That Keeps Me Awake

Finally disabled my Okcupid,
was tired of searchin',
was tired of numbing the pain.
Hope it's not all done in vain.

Finally found a guy who's worth me,
one who's real
who makes me feel
everything I know I've been missing,
someone who I'll be kissing.
For the rest of my life
or a short time,
I don't know.


I just know he ain't ghosting,
he ain't leaving.
He's sure about me,
and at Free2B tonight,
he'll be the one everyone knows
I'm holding onto tight.

And yet there's J,
the person who did not stay
on constant replay.

Keep on wondering
who's he serious about these days,
a pang in my heart as I think it,
the discontinued episode between us.
Never getting to see the end
of what could have been.
And as she's undressing him slowly tonight,
he's that fantasy,
that fantasy that keeps me awake.

Becoming a taken girl,
I hope that fantasy vanishes,
but I have a feeling
it'll keep reeling
until the day I heal
or worse, until the day I die.
Don't know which will come first.

Keep on wondering
who's he serious about these days,
a pang in my heart as I think it,
the discontinued episode between us.
Never getting to see the end
of what could have been.
And as she's undressing him slowly tonight,
he's that fantasy,
that fantasy that keeps me awake.

I keep convincing myself that all you were was wrong for me,
but damn it, why did everything feel so right at that time?
Why did it all feel so right?
I guess the sad truth is when you receive a certain vibe,
it sticks with you for life,
no matter the pain they can stick in you like a knife.

Keep on wondering
who's he serious about these days,
a pang in my heart as I think it,
the discontinued episode between us.
Never getting to see the end
of what could have been.
And as she's undressing him slowly tonight,
he's that fantasy,
that fantasy that keeps me awake.

That fantasy that never leaves me,
that fuels me.
The one I can now never make real.
Pulling your hair, making you moan
in the sexiest voice I've ever known.
Making you know I'd listen
to more than what makes you glisten.
Never knew I'd be in this position.

You're that fantasy,
not innocently crushing on a stupid celebrity.
You.
And as she's undressing you slowly tonight,
you're that fantasy.