Why I Hate Travelling in London

1

I think I’ve read too many crime novels
about people being shoved down escalators
and in front of trains

plus being clumsy and not having much
coordination means that I picture
myself crumpled at the bottom of
those escalators

or knocked down like the little girl
I saw almost delivered back to God
when a boy rushing to make his train
barrelled into her

thankfully I’m sturdier
than most little girls

2

tube trains are the worst

unsure on my feet
and crammed in like it’s 1923
and we’re playing sardines
in a closet in a Manor House
I’m always afraid
that the harsh momentum
will make me fall
into a young woman
and she’ll accuse me of being a fiend

and I’ll blush and swear I’m gay
and all aboard will say

‘pull the other one, slow hands,
that’s what all the sex pests say’