deepundergroundpoetry.com
Communication As Chess
I was astonished when she responded to my invitation to communicate.
My first communication was atrocious and could not have been worse.
I cannot begin to explain to you the nature of the desert I have just walked through.
To arrive here… Typing this email. What is an email?
In the subsequent nights I gazed out into the darkness in abject horror.
WTF was I thinking. I was thinking, wasn’t I?
And then I retraced the thought process. Yes, I was thinking. But damn.
I am driven by death and the thought that I could be dead, at any moment.
I know I am.
But that is not something you can just convey clearly or lucidly,
unless you have a very understanding ear.
Although an important point, I believe I am multi-faceted, maybe even multitudinous.
So there are other points of potential emphasis.
I think I really wanted to be liked. And I very very rarely feel that way.
I typically just say whatever-whenever, if inclined to break my silence.
(of course inside the bounds of circumspection, most of the time)
Well… Believe it or not (Ripley’s level Believe it or not)… A reply arrived.
I was truly amazed, as I had already banished myself
and realized that on some strange level, I wanted to be banished
to get it over with. I will be unloved and unliked for eternity. So be it.
I will be the strange fellow that lives in the woods and does strange things.
My attempts to reach out to humanity have failed. Alas.
We exchanged very pleasant communications.
I caught sight of a star in the horizon and I followed. I listened.
The words on the screen… Arrived in sacred spaces.
Amazement in any form is a treasure above all others.
No matter what.
Published 24th May 2021
Author's Note
Another I did not want to post. Therefore I post. That gives me an idea...
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
24th May 2021 5:45am
Dear C,
“ I think I really wanted to be liked. And I very very rarely feel that way. ” I found this phrase a very universal statement especially in jr high school and then forever after by so many of us.
It does not sound as though your first form of communique was as bad as you thought else she wouldn’t have bothered responding.
Your poem is a fine representation of human jitters in anticipation of bared and raw emotion. H🌷
“ I think I really wanted to be liked. And I very very rarely feel that way. ” I found this phrase a very universal statement especially in jr high school and then forever after by so many of us.
It does not sound as though your first form of communique was as bad as you thought else she wouldn’t have bothered responding.
Your poem is a fine representation of human jitters in anticipation of bared and raw emotion. H🌷
24th May 2021 7:06am
24th May 2021 6:31pm
It is so damned hard wanting things. Putting yourself out there when you want connection and to just hide at the same time. I am glad to see all of your words. Understand and respond to the ones I can, because of course responses relate to you, but also are about where the other person is and who they are.
25th May 2021 6:07am
Very true... On both accounts.
I like that interactional transactional aspect of words. I do believe the intent carries forth in all circumstances.
Good to see you.
I like that interactional transactional aspect of words. I do believe the intent carries forth in all circumstances.
Good to see you.
