deepundergroundpoetry.com
Disease
The castle walls crumble
ivy eats stone: a new world arises
Land baptises, more living
Art. A man lives on a needle mask
tall grass, a green man covered in dust
Rose rust in a black spot
the fungus is honey
His jeans red with torn thread
The feeding, Potato land is blighted
apples scabbed, then stabbed
An exorcist winter on the malus canker
His life a peach
but now his leaves are curled, hurled down
on his powdery, mildewed eyes
So he sings of hot sea and a coral spot
stopping, he finds a box
Pandora's blighted box
oozing grey mould and is lost
falling, holding onto a mosaic of cucumber virus
and like Pandora
his roots are rotten
with phytophthora
ivy eats stone: a new world arises
Land baptises, more living
Art. A man lives on a needle mask
tall grass, a green man covered in dust
Rose rust in a black spot
the fungus is honey
His jeans red with torn thread
The feeding, Potato land is blighted
apples scabbed, then stabbed
An exorcist winter on the malus canker
His life a peach
but now his leaves are curled, hurled down
on his powdery, mildewed eyes
So he sings of hot sea and a coral spot
stopping, he finds a box
Pandora's blighted box
oozing grey mould and is lost
falling, holding onto a mosaic of cucumber virus
and like Pandora
his roots are rotten
with phytophthora
Published 16th May 2021
| Edited 20th May 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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2nd Aug 2021 3:39pm
Wonderful strong language. It created such jarring images as you juxtaposed the beauty of the natural world with decay throughout. Well done.
3rd Aug 2021 2:51am
The natural world has an underlining of decay, it is the order of things, look and its always there among the beauty. +
31st Mar 2023 8:27pm
I like how you use creative and abstract images to create thought provocation and let the writing hint at meanings beneath.
31st Mar 2023 8:39pm
Thank you. I've been catching up on du poets and your comments are always spot on.
Thanks I appreciate that. I try to keep the comment to the writing, as we don't know the person behind it, though I hope to make a connection on the universal human beingness level and I point out qualities of the writing. I read this amazing book several years ago called Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, a really smart guy gets obsessed with the idea of quality. He outlined the qualities of writing as he saw them, so I took that list to heart. He said things like, Unity, vividness, clarity, sensitivity, emphasis, suspense, gravity, creativity, harmony. I added to that list things like presence and proportion.
Mostly I figure people post because they want to be seen, heard and felt. So that is meaningful to me.
Mostly I figure people post because they want to be seen, heard and felt. So that is meaningful to me.
31st Mar 2023 10:15pm
Those are good points regarding writing and will certainly try to adhere to them, though not so obsessively as the guy in that book!
People do want to be heard and are driven to post, it's an achievement to write from the heart and mind and put it out there
People do want to be heard and are driven to post, it's an achievement to write from the heart and mind and put it out there
31st Mar 2023 10:58pm
