Letters Better Left Unsent

 
I – to my father
I don’t know if I should blame you for leaving,
But you had wounds that never healed,
And after you told me about your father,
I now begin to understand how you feel.
Yet I can’t sympathize with your addiction,
Duty and responsibility is for family first,
And even though you’re at death’s door,
You chose your habit as if you were cursed.
Maybe in your death throes you’ll see the light,
Love lost and found is more than just dumb luck,
Honestly, I said goodbye to you a while ago,
But if you don’t care, why should we give a fuck?

II – to my son
To some degree I still feel that ominous guilt,
I didn’t act right and split like my father,
But reality punched me right in the face,
When in my anger I didn’t want to be bothered.
Every decision I’ve made has affected you,
I took it all away when I just gave it up,
And for years it’s been lingering in us,
I can’t apologize enough to make it up.
You’re a strong young man and you know it,
Your resilience should bring you that joy,
As long as I try to be a part of your life,
To me, you’ll always be my baby boy.

III – to God
At times I had doubts about your existence,
Sitting there all high and mighty on your throne,
But as time went by, I began to realize something,
In a way, we’re tiny gods made of flesh and bone.
The precious gift of life we’ve been bestowed,
Regardless of creed or whatever we choose to believe,
It stands as a reminder that we all have a purpose,
Part of something bigger to what we can conceive.
I take responsibility for my choices and actions,
But life sometimes is a cluster-fuck that’s unfair,
I guess it’s an intricate web of all things you create,
Of all things celestial, somewhere up there.