Who's Got The Sauce?

I love me some hot sauce
It's an unrequited affair
Like being staked to a cross
It crucifies my rear

Man it ain't fair
We use to be so in love
Now that I got gray hair
She doesn't show me any love

She turned into a thug
I ain't about that life
Instead of giving me hugs
She brings nothing but strife

Like an ex-wife
Going from sweet to bitter
In the afterlife
I won't go nowhere near her

In the here and now
I still keep her around
But when she goes down
You'll hear a flatulence sound