I wish... I could just stop crying and sleep

As I'm laying here I can't stop the tears
Bruising my eyes trying to get them away
They just keep falling and falling soaking my pillow
I wish people cared and I wish I did too
But I'm laying here wishing it would stop
I keep dreaming that I'm going to end up
Back into the hospital and all alone
Alone with my darkness and machines beeping
I'm scared to close my eyes and see it all again
IVs and cords attached to my body
Feeling like all I do is bother everyone
Trying so hard to bury all my fears
I've been trying so hard to hide it
Its not like anyone cares to hear about it
Scared, deeply scared of what's in my body
Is another clot forming somewhere in my veins?
Is my blood goingt I kill me randomly?
I'm annoying everyone around me
It's only been three weeks and they've all but gone
Two or three sticking around but I know they're tired
Tired of me repeating my fears over and over again...
I wish more people just wanted to talk to me
I'm so very lonely and no one seems to understand