Voices and mushrooms

I go back and forth in this mind of mine
With thoughts such as these who needs enemies?
One voice saying one while another responds
Let's die tonight, Let's not
Let's fight today, Let's give up
The thoughts never seem to stop
Round and round we go  
Circling like wolves or cuttle fish
Dancing as we go in this clear door
It's a groovy cha cha slide
Ready for fisty cuffs with death one moment
And then ready to throw myself in their arms
It's a dramatic battle of the two ruling forces
Life or death either way it's my existence
It doesn't change as time goes on
I'm alive because I'm curious about it all
I have too many questions to walk away right now
Death is finite, a solid answer in that there is none
Too damn curious about life to meet my makers
I long for the experiences I haven't had yet
But at night when my past plays like movies
Tripping me in repeating that trauma
It's hard to see past the past
It's a black out curtain and I just need to reach out
Grip my fingers into the heavy material and ripe it away
I just need that little boost to do it
And many times I succeed in surviving
The maze of my mind and it's monsters
Anxiety, fear, worthlessness, depression
But the way I measure my worth is pointless
Because I still am worth SOMETHING in this life
If I can help one person before it closes
When the book of my life reaches its final pages
I want it to be said that I left my mark
That if I were to die today I would be remembered in a way
It's my greatest fear that I'll die and it will be...
Like crushing a mushroom in a forest
No one knows you did it except the mushroom and you