deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Passage Contains Shadows
Time stands to pause,
from the everyday,
the too familiar,
the knowing, of one's heartbeat.
Consistent shadows,
in their progression,
pass through Cottonwoods,
that urge me on,
to sit on this bus bench,
where paint peels,
into curls, off old pine boards.
Some remain with me, catching on spiders web, others dance
with the breeze
that takes them
to land in a heap nearby.
Silver- blue Greyhound glides by, on her way,
(without question)
to where, she's gone
before.
An expected glimpse caught, from the corner
of my eye.
The same tired looking
man, wearing brown tweed, His face like a wayward friend, that no longer
visits.
Stories, pieced together
from these brief moments stored,
in my memory that tells
me he has traveled farther, than he had ever planned.
A downward smile
and furrowed brow
shows old ambition
fading
I cannot erase the times
our eyes met, it's not
something I want
His attention stopped, grabbing hold
of the roadsigns
long enough to look
my way
I wonder if he,
is as pleased, to see me,
as I am, of him?
Does he like, the way morning glories turn,
their blue faces
reaching high, with
determination as I do?
from the everyday,
the too familiar,
the knowing, of one's heartbeat.
Consistent shadows,
in their progression,
pass through Cottonwoods,
that urge me on,
to sit on this bus bench,
where paint peels,
into curls, off old pine boards.
Some remain with me, catching on spiders web, others dance
with the breeze
that takes them
to land in a heap nearby.
Silver- blue Greyhound glides by, on her way,
(without question)
to where, she's gone
before.
An expected glimpse caught, from the corner
of my eye.
The same tired looking
man, wearing brown tweed, His face like a wayward friend, that no longer
visits.
Stories, pieced together
from these brief moments stored,
in my memory that tells
me he has traveled farther, than he had ever planned.
A downward smile
and furrowed brow
shows old ambition
fading
I cannot erase the times
our eyes met, it's not
something I want
His attention stopped, grabbing hold
of the roadsigns
long enough to look
my way
I wonder if he,
is as pleased, to see me,
as I am, of him?
Does he like, the way morning glories turn,
their blue faces
reaching high, with
determination as I do?
Written by
Valeriyabeyond
(Dhyana)
Published 25th Oct 2020
| Edited 31st Oct 2020
Author's Note
Written for Competition Nothing But Color
Ai Ogawa
https://m.poemhunter.com/poem/passage-for-allen-ginsberg/
Inspired by her poem
The Passage
Ai Ogawa
https://m.poemhunter.com/poem/passage-for-allen-ginsberg/
Inspired by her poem
The Passage
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 6
comments 20
reads 511
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
Anonymous
25th Oct 2020 1:32am
you are so gifted Val
0
Re: Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 1:42am
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Oct 2020 1:09am
25th Oct 2020 1:03am
I feel the essence of Ai's "Passage For Allen Guinsberg" as desire to escape a one way dead end street of routine no matter how much that desire is suppressed. It's merely couched in the metaphor of speeding along through life on a train while the life one could be living is passed by.
In your wonderful offering, that desire is exponentially amplified by the mundane routine laid out that has yet to discourage your narrator.
"His story, pieced together
from these brief moments stored,
in my memory that tells
me he has traveled farther,
than he had ever planned."
The absence of change can severely wear on people until they just give up hope and you captured that perfectly. Yet your narrator remains neither deterred or detoured.
Good luck in the judging, Val!
In your wonderful offering, that desire is exponentially amplified by the mundane routine laid out that has yet to discourage your narrator.
"His story, pieced together
from these brief moments stored,
in my memory that tells
me he has traveled farther,
than he had ever planned."
The absence of change can severely wear on people until they just give up hope and you captured that perfectly. Yet your narrator remains neither deterred or detoured.
Good luck in the judging, Val!
0
Re: Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 1:14am
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 1:47am
Re: Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 5:38pm
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 2:11am
Re: Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 5:39pm
Re: Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 5:39pm
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
Sheer perfection, dear poetess. This is hands down one of the finest poems that I have ever read anywhere! I think it's brilliant. I also found it to be fascinating! I applaud you.
P.S. I hope you win!
P.S. I hope you win!
0
Re: Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 4:50am
Re: Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 4:58am
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 1:21pm
This is such a beautiful piece. Some people get stuck in the mundane of day after day. You have captured that well. The little details, such as the peeling paint curls, adds texture and just the right amount of description to paint a vivid picture.
Good luck in the comp.
Good luck in the comp.
0
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
Dear V,
The ennui of the everyday is depicted so well in your poem it almost has its own heartbeat.
I’d honestly have to cut and paste the entire piece to share each bit I thought was great.
I enjoyed your formatting and the flow of your write- it just kept moving and capturing perfectly this undercurrent of mundane-ness. Brilliant! H🌷
The ennui of the everyday is depicted so well in your poem it almost has its own heartbeat.
I’d honestly have to cut and paste the entire piece to share each bit I thought was great.
I enjoyed your formatting and the flow of your write- it just kept moving and capturing perfectly this undercurrent of mundane-ness. Brilliant! H🌷
0
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 3:43pm
A wonderful offering tribute to Ai's tribute! Of all her poetry, I honestly felt this was autobiographical, not just of herself, but of all others who grew up believing what they were told until it cemented in their heart.
Thank you for braving Ai, and best of luck in the judging, Val!
Thank you for braving Ai, and best of luck in the judging, Val!
0
Re: Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 5:36pm
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 5:37pm
Thank you to all who commented on this piece
This comp is a challenge I had been putting off for sometime
I appreciate you all
Thank you V
This comp is a challenge I had been putting off for sometime
I appreciate you all
Thank you V
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
25th Oct 2020 8:35pm
Ahh I love where you've taken me on this read... so relatable in my life of casually studying the wise and seasoned veterans of lifes peaks and valleys... ✌
0
Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
27th Oct 2020 10:25pm
Love this type of writing , I feel like I was sitting on the bench with you, well done.
0
Re: Re. The Passage Contains Shadows
28th Oct 2020 00:50am