Flux

Circle, spiral, down the hole,
No one knows which way I’ll go,
One moment happy, the next one sad,
Speaking softly, don’t make me mad,
Go away, no come back here!
Can’t escape this inborn fear,
Mind’s a jumble, heart's a mess,
Rip the emotions from my chest.
Creepy actions, reap what you sow,
Is this the person that you know?
When the mask is ripped away,
Another one comes out to play.
Bare it all with written word,
Not a bit is really heard,
Trapped inside my whirling mind,
Serving the contract unwittingly signed,
At the tender age of…when?
There I go, I’m “off" again!
Tell me, how I can contain,
All this shit inside my brain?
Emotion says it’s all a guise,
Logic dictates it’s naught but lies.
Which side would I now believe?
Is it faith that I now cleave?
That flicker of hope to which I cling?
Will it really happiness bring?
Tell me now how I should feel,
Am I “me"? Am I “real”?
Unstable is my middle name,
All you see is just a game.
Temper tantrums, bated breath,
Child’s wonder, long for death,
Zest for life, fly so high!
Plummet to darkness, whither, die.
Reckless abandon, energy sapped,
Broken hearted, hidden, trapped,
My outlook changes on a dime,
With no concept of space or time.
You aren’t the one that triggered me, dear.
You are simply the one that’s here.