I am

I battled through the darkness
And made it to the light
I’m better now
Right?
 
I made it through
I’m still here
But I can’t help notice  
That I’m not quite clear
The traumas still stuck to me
Building to a pyre
They all said they cared
And turned into liars
 
I kept myself here
But I still feel the scars
Of breaking bones with their sticks and stones
That I might ever know love again
And when I was done
I’d barely stand the sight
Of what I’d become
In this horrible rite
 
I made it through
But at what cost
Still always comparing
This weight that I’m bearing
So tiny and yet
Still im despairing
 
First Second Third Fourth
These are ranks I’m reaching for
Fifth Sixth Seventh Eighth
And yet I’m told I must still wait
For I’m never to be wanted
Forever to want
Doomed ever to care
For most uncaring
 
But I made it
Right?  
 
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Guess I died back then
Can’t deny it any longer
Just do it again
Closer and closer to a warmonger
The very thing I fear
 
I am broken
And I did it  
to my
self