Your Love As My Weakness

I cannot keep staying where I do not feel
Welcomed or wanted. I craved you to love
Me like I know I deserved and I prayed for
My entire life, but even that always gave

My life negative energy. You would steal
My heart every single time. Like a dove
I should have kept flying away. You swore
To not lead our love straight to the grave,

But yet you did time and time again. I still
Forgave you, but it was becoming a toxic
Cycle I could not leave until my heart was
Done. I could not let my life come to a skid

As I was constantly searching, trying to fill
The void by replacing you, but all my logic
Was off kilter and after the party’s buzz
Wore off I felt even more alone than I did

Before I met you. I could have tried harder
To move on, but you still had a hold on me
And my heart. Somehow you got into my
Fears and twisted them so I could never

Get over them. I had to let my metal armor
Become stronger not weaker as you see
Right through me and my weaknesses. Try
All you want to say about how you sever

Ties to who you used to be, but I cannot
Forget who you were back in high school.
I cannot forget that I had an impossible
Standard to reach for, but it should have

Been tall enough for you to reach. I caught
Feelings for someone who lost my jewel
And gold. This love became irresponsible,
Reckless, and something that was halved,

Not full or filled with light. You loved me in
So many wrong ways as if our love was a sin.