So It Hurts...

What does it mean to say 'I'm okay...'
Should I shamelessly show off my scars.
Say I'm stronger than you'll ever be.
Due to the fact I've more scars than you'll ever have.
But still it doesn't make me feel any better,
It certainly doesn't help me get over it.
If I'm really as strong as I claim to be
where the fuck was the strength when I really needed it.
What's done is done, can't change that fact.
I thought I could move on but I only stalled.
The past conflict with what is yet to come.
Ruining any chance I get to start again.
And so it hurts.

Digging into the past always hurt me.
But in order to heal better I had to.
Still never like what I saw, so I turned a blind eye and say.
'That's my memory' not what I really saw.
Repress all the bullshit I'm put through.
Digress from the straight path for something bearable.
It's amazing how far one's willing to go.
To remain oblivious to the horrors.
And so it hurts.