Ode to a Carnivore

Lamb, bacon, steak and chicken
He loves them all without exception
Roasted, grilled, fried, all finger lickin’
In each of them he finds temptation
Yet for something exotic he does yearn
Lemur, ostrich, panda, penguin
What delights can be found at a zoo!
How to access them, his main concern
The more he plans, his desires lengthen
If he pulls this off, oh, what a coup!

By night he determines to strike
His plans in place, recipes prepared
So stealthy he is almost ghostlike
Little does he know, how much he’s erred
The cameras see his every move
The electric fence awaits his touch
The alarm bells ready to seal his fate
Of his attempt, no one does approve
Caught he is, like a rabbit in a hutch
His carnivorous desires, he cannot sate!

Before the judge he does appear
He takes the stand, his case to plead
The jury to his side, he tries to steer
“I cannot lie, I did the deed”
The jury stare in disbelief
“A man of simple tastes I am”
His story falls on ears of disdain
“Why can’t he be satisfied with beef?”
The jury ponder, “or even lamb?”
His innocence they cannot maintain.

What punishment should they prescribe
To one as twisted as he?
Their solution, a barbed jibe
No meat again will he see
Banned forever from fleshy pleasure
Veg, fruit and nuts his only solace
From hungers pangs when they strike
Even milk and honey forbidden treasure
His diet now vegan, and must be flawless
Or off to jail he’ll have to hike!