Happy birthday

“Happy birthday, you’re 30 today, yay”
Look outside the sky is gray
Things weren’t supposed to end up this way
The demons I couldn’t keep at bay
“Make a wish that it will all be okay, blow out your candles”
The pain I feel, it grows
Can’t let anyone know
So I keep putting on this show.
Although the darkness in me flows
Built up trauma I can’t ever let go
I sunk down low
Like a clown I paint a smile over my frown
Constantly feeling like I’m gonna drown
I wear this pain like a crown
Only cry when no one is around
I’m done, my demons I can’t outrun
Truthfully they already won
But too scared to pick up the gun
Maybe I’m sick, a lunatic
Doctor said these pills will do the trick
Now I got an addiction I can’t kick
“What was your wish?”
I stare at the smoke from the burnt wick
I whisper to myself “that this life ends quick”