Cold feet

Philia is the only love she can ever show me there isn't a single person in this world who would ever want to hold me i guess that's why i get cold feet and i get so very nervous each and everytime i speak six foot six and I still feel weak. I don't want to sleep because I cannot dream what's the point of sleep when there is nothing to see a dark void that suffocates me and wakes me to the miserable world that hates me.